Raw, adjective: 11. unprocessed or unevaluated: raw data

Mary Elizabeth Williams has a really great little piece on dude-chick friendships in Salon today. It's a paean to the kind of relationships that transcend years and involve a helluva lot of laughter, liquor and good music.

I'm lucky enough to have a cadre of some of the best dude friends out there. They taught me how to laugh, how to talk about sex like a guy, how to shoot tequila. And they're simultaneously super-smart, thoughtful and grounded. I adore them, not only for the distinct pleasure of their contrasting masculinity, but in part for that, for sure.

Which is no doubt why I enjoyed Williams' article so much. She addresses that whole When Harry Met Sally trope about how men and women can't have real platonic friendships because sex always gets in the way. I like the way she sensibly tackles the whole idea, writing that
Sex doesn’t get in the way of male-female friendship -- sex is just along the way. Even the most platonic of friendships smolder from time to time from the embers of attraction, and sometimes friends wind up becoming lovers (they often make the best ones). So what? Most rational adults can accommodate an array of feelings without acting on all of them. Even when they do, ex-lovers can wind up the tenderest of friends.
Read the whole thing. It's at once unsentimental, well-reasoned and adoring. And I totally agree with her point that sometimes you don't want someone to sit next to you at a bar and talk about feelings; you want him to sit next to you and talk shit about that quarterback who was drafted too early and blew it for the season, and then lean over and order another round of beers without complaining that his belt's too tight. So refreshing.

Guy Friends Rule (Salon)


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