Raw, adjective: 1. uncooked, as articles of food: a raw carrot.
Bundt Cake Saturday!
Music: Alexander Desplat
Hello and good morning. So 2/14 falls on a Saturday this year - how convenient for our cheesy seasonal bundt purposes. As you can imagine, today provides ample opportunities for rolling along with the artificial chug-a-lug that is the Valentine's Day train. Earlier this week I revisited last summer's chocolate raspberry red velvet recipe for a little birthday surprise for T, so I decided I couldn't go with that one today, as much as the deep red color felt appropriate. So we'll head in the other direction: seriously pink.
This recipe is pretty disgusting. I mean, I hope it won't taste disgusting, but making it reminded me of the pink walls of my little girl room and endless pink fairy daydreams and Strawberry Shortcake played on the living room floor on a blizzard-y February day. So, cheesy in that disgusting manufactured PINK! kind of way. I threw together this recipe based on a model of another I'd had success with before, so we'll see what happens. No matter what, it's sure to be an aesthetic experience quite, uh, fitting for the contrivedly sappy holiday that Hallmark reminds us to celebrate today with sparkly red cards and Russell Stover candy heart boxes. So let's tread carefully, cocktails in hand, toward a
STRAWBERRY CREAM CHEESE BUNDT CAKE
Yes. A veritable pink explosion, my friends. Get ready for the ugliest of the ugly, the fakest of the fake. If it's artificially strawberry flavored, you can be sure as hell that I dumped it in.
1 package strawberry cake mix
2 small packages instant cheesecake pudding
1 cup strawberry yogurt
8 oz. strawberry cream cheese, thawed to room temp.
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup water
1/2 tsp. vanilla
16 oz. sliced strawberries, fresh or frozen
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, and grease and flour your bundt pan. In a large bowl, combine the cake mix, pudding, eggs, yogurt, cream cheese, oil, water and vanilla. Using an electric mixer, beat for two minutes at a medium speed. Fold in the sliced strawberries and stir gently. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then invert onto wire rack to cool completely.
Adding the sliced strawberries made the batter a little more runny, so it might take longer to bake. Just play it by ear.
I'll frost the finished pink bomb with cream cheese frosting (dyed pink with a little food coloring, naturally) and maybe throw a little edible silver glitter on top. And there you go. A cream-cheesy cake perfectly suited for this cheesy day. Xoxo.
UPDATE: Total failure! I think this turned out to be my first official disaster. I mean, just look how ugly that is, first of all. After baking for nearly an hour, I took the cake out of the oven too soon, because it fell in immediately (and almost fell apart). Then, I frosted it while it was still too warm, because the obnoxious pink frosting melted all over, eventually dripping off the cooling rack. I tried to salvage it by adding more, but that only made things worse. I just cut into the finished cake to test it, and it's cool and clammy on the inside, far too runny and jiggly. I can't feed this to people I care about without worrying that their insides will rot with unbaked cream cheese-yogurt sickness. So, it's in the trash can she'll go.
Next time: less cream cheese, less strawberry juice, more time in the oven, more time on the cooling rack. In baking as in love, I guess they can't all be winners!